The Community Word

Bridal shower invitations aren’t exactly flooding my mailbox these days. Such special events tend to be rather cyclical and apparently I’m cycling in the nearly finished category. More specifically, that means invitations to 60th and 70th birthday parties, or 40th and 50th anniversary celebrations. Joyous milestones I’m happy to celebrate with others. Invitations to bridal or baby showers are less frequent, prompting a certain inquisitiveness for me and others whose celebrations were many years ago.

Showers have evolved from modest gatherings in church community rooms or a hostess’ living room to fancy affairs in restaurants or hotels. Food at a shower used to consist of dessert, usually cake, and a beverage, with maybe snacks of nuts and candy. Now it’s often a full-meal deal or more featuring themed events, festive decorations, and party drinks. I like it all and it’s fascinating to note how dramatically the details have changed. Now it’s primarily the second or third generation getting married or having babies, and I’m delighted to be invited to the event.

Typically we mature folks are seated together by choice, reminiscing while enjoying the current trends. Usually we comment on the “need” for another wedding shower for those of us married for multiple decades. The marriage can certainly flourish and last forever, but the gifts don’t. After so many years, we need to freshen the furnishings.

Last month I was pleased to be a guest at my great-niece’s bridal shower. I’m never quite certain the exact words to describe how we’re related. She calls me her beloved Great-Aunt so I’m assuming she’s my great-niece. Her grandmother is my sister.

I loved shopping for the shower. Practicality was not a consideration. If it fit her personality and reminded me of her, that was sufficient reason to purchase. When I and others in my generation were the guest of honor at a shower, we were gifted with casserole dishes, kitchen accessories, and practical items for setting up housekeeping, as it was called then. Some of those casserole dishes I’m still using, and it’s amazing to see they’re now displayed in collectible stores. Many a vegetable or side dish has been baked and served in them, and they’re still looking good. But not a one of comparable style was gifted to this young, beautiful bride-to-be.

The collective sighs and exclamations over the towels and linens were clearly audible. The linen closet possessions of those who have celebrated silver anniversaries and beyond are usually a bit dated and worn. We talk of replacing them, but it’s expensive and many of us are much thriftier by nature than today’s young consumers. The gadgets and accessories on the bridal registries are intriguing. I’m amazed we more mature cooks can prepare a meal as our possessions lack the design and flair of today’s well-orchestrated kitchens. But even without color coordination, our items are still functional.

When I returned home and looked around, things seemed a bit dated, as I expected. No reason to fuss. I poured myself a beverage in a fancy glass, lit some lovely fragranced candles, and reminisced. Eventually everything looks dated, if you’re fortunate enough to still be around years later to see it. But I’m okay with a mismatch in décor here and there. And grateful the marriage is still intact and thriving.