Finding ‘X’
Isolate “X” we are told. Get rid of everything on one side so that only X is left then figure out what X is. Only a select few, I have found, understand what X is or how to find it. Multitudes, on the other hand, have no clue how to find X, what it is, or care if they ever find it. I spent years in the latter crowd.
I remember a pre-algebra class I attempted a few years ago. My embarrassment faded quickly when I realized that most of my classmates were adults who also were lifetime members of the underground Math Hater’s Society. This ambiguous group holds no formal meetings, nor are there any yearly membership dues – lest we be forced to learn accounting and balance a checkbook. Rather, this society exists in isolation – kind of like where X needs to be before you can find out what it is.
Furthermore, math haters don’t readily admit to their membership – unless another member speaks up first, such as one of my classmates did at our first class session. One by one each of us in our own way confessed our lifelong struggle with the science of numbers; some with groans, some with sarcasm some with silence. By the end of the night however, our clever instructor had us in stitches. His quick wit worked us over until there was actually laughter – in a math class! Arithmetic therapy.
Surprisingly, I’m getting it. X, that is. It’s true, it was scary in high school when I sat staring at 2X – 6.25 = 2y + 7.15 scribbled on the blackboard. It would have been easier to learn French. Geometry was another nervous breakdown I stuffed away in the attic of my mind. I thought I solved the problem (no pun intended) when I vowed to my teacher I would never use math in real life, then proceeded to live in a euphoric state of avoidance from that point on, truly believing I could pull it off. Now, as an adult, I realize avoidance, “X” if you will, equals denial. But, instead of trying to explain it in an equation, let me throw out a story problem:
A teenager leaves high school at 90 mph with a diploma in 1979 with no clue and about $50 in small bills. Then, after running to the altar 5.98 months later that year and giving birth to a bouncing baby boy exactly 11 months later, how many years would it take the teenager to realize that she needed a college degree to make enough money to put that boy through college starting in1999? Write it out my teacher says. Assign a variable to what you know the least about. X = years the teenager was clueless. So, it may look like this: 1999 – (5.98 months + 11 months) = X. Whatever. It’s in the past, I’m over it.
The equation has many variables, such as choices I made while in a state of denial. Now I’ve figured out what X is. X is the length of time it took me to do the math – literally. No matter how you write it – no matter which side of the equation the X is on – you have to pass math classes to get any degree. Period. So if I have to find the absolute value of a real number on a number line and deal with negatives and components while dividing, subtracting and adding irrational numbers bring it on! I’ve been doing that for decades in the work force. In fact there is no number high enough to count the times I’ve dealt with irrational numbers – numbers played on my heart, my mind, you get the picture.
The irony of all this is that I’m no longer afraid of X. I am actually embracing it. Before, I would see it on the blackboard or in the book and have an immediate brain-freeze. I just couldn’t deal with a letter from the alphabet sitting next to a number. It just wasn’t right. X belonged in the dictionary not in a math book! Unfortunately, this was not the only anxiety I was dealing with in ninth grade. An emotional and physical attack forced me into a deep confusion and I’ve been trying to find X ever since.
Why now is algebra no longer the monster in the closet? Why am I welcoming it with open arms? Why indeed. You tell me. If X = avoidance of something you must face or do, then find out what X is, put it back into your own equation and solve it. Get rid of everything on the side of the X – isolate it so you know exactly what it is. Simplify it to its basic terms. Then, if you find the answer is keeping you from moving forward, get over it – most likely it’s in the past and more likely than not, there are many who share your struggle.
