The Dempsey Gene!
My mother often expressed disappointment at what she perceived as her lack of talent. Others did not share her perception, especially me. As a child who struggled to feel confident about even simple situations, I thought she was extraordinarily talented. She knew how to make my world feel safe and comfortable, and I was grateful.
Like many people, my mom assumed because she didn’t possess artistic or musical abilities, or wasn’t into handiwork or crafts, that she was without talents. Her skills were more practical. In today’s environment with the volatile stock market and high unemployment, they are in high demand. She was very resourceful and possessed much practical knowledge. Even better, she shared her insights with her family. Today my adult children and I, along with her other grandchildren and great-grandchildren lovingly refer to those talents as the “Dempsey gene” after my parent’s last name. It’s been passed on through the generations, and we’re all better people and financially more stable because of it.
My parents never had the advantage of great wealth. My dad would always defer to my mom when it came to monetary decisions, recognizing her abilities in such matters. Together they were a good pair and they knew how to enjoy their resources without being extravagant or wasteful. Their economics were simple: be responsible in your spending and pay your bills on time; remember, you either cut expenses or increase your income; if an item still works, why replace it before it’s worn out. If you want something badly enough, you must be willing to work for it. Always share your blessings with others. Their religious convictions were lived, not just discussed.
Such resourcefulness seemed very boring to me when I was a teenager and young adult. I planned to handle my finances differently. My mom made helpful suggestions, but she let me make my own mistakes. She’d offer advice when asked, but she never rescued me when my financial planning, or lack thereof, caused serious repercussions. She would loan me money, but her terms were far more rigorous than any bank. She kept impeccable records, and expected payment on the date due. Excuses were unacceptable.
Eventually I saw the wisdom of her ways, and followed her practicality in financial decisions. Later when my children were growing up, they complained as vigorously as I had, but eventually decided the Dempsey gene provided many advantages. Not all of us are the saver extraordinaire of “stuff” that my mother was, but it’s obvious where our thriftiness originated.
We’ve enjoyed many spirited conversations about differences between thrifty and cheap or how to spot a genuine bargain. We learned early the difference between a need and a want, and it’s amazing how the wants keep increasing while the needs often are minimal.
Learning the art of comparison shopping and living within your means isn’t likely to wow the neighbors. Cutting coupons and patiently waiting for a good buy is rather mundane in our world of instant gratification and glitz. Such resourcefulness requires patience, a firm sense of purpose, and knowledge. Some people would call it a talent. My mother might not have recognized its worth because such talent lacks luster and seems simple. But her family knows its value and is very appreciative of having inherited the Dempsey gene!
