Musings for August 2012
Another time for Musings, and as usual I am running like a chicken with my head off. Jason is in the hospital again, and I am trying to see him a couple times a day as well as working at The Center as usual. The one thing I have had to give up is volunteering at Global Village. I really miss it, but there are only so many hours in a day, and I can’t seem to do as much as I used to. Of course I have learned that each decade of our lives we have less energy, and we are forced to slow down. I don’t like it, but I have learned to accept it. I certainly wish I could do as I did ten years ago, But it ain’t gonna happen!
Jason is doing better, but I am so worried about him. Actually what has happened is that the toe that was amputated never healed. It got better, then worse, and better again. Anyway he went in for surgery on Wednesday morning, the 25th, and the surgeon thought it looked very good. She did not take part of the next toe as she thought she might have to, and I felt good. But she took a biopsy of the next toe and some of the bone from the base of the big toe which was amputated. Turns out now that he has a bone infection which means he will have to take antibiotics for six weeks.
He went down yesterday to have a line put in, but they are still not sure about what antibiotic to use, because they have to wait for the cultures to grow. I didn’t think anything could be worse than getting him through the amputation and the stroke in April, but this is worse. I can only let go, offer him the support he needs and ask for prayers from everyone. So please think about him at some moment when you can offer him energy or a prayer. Thanks!
My life goes on in modified form. I am walking both dogs and trying to continue my exercise three mornings a week, but it is hard. I find myself running at a faster pace each day, while telling myself to slow down and let go and let God, but it is very difficult. I will get through this just as I have managed the other tragedies in my life. I have always said that I am strong and can handle anything God will give me, but I sure wish he would give some of it to someone else for a change. I DO NOT NEED ANYTHING ELSE!
According to the Infectious Diseases’ doctor, who is now handling Jason’s case, bone infection is never cured but controlled. He will have to go in to the hospital every day for six weeks to have the antibiotic.
I am not keeping up with much except I am reading. I am now reading some Janet Evonovitch mysteries, because they are light, I can laugh and they keep my mind off of what’s going on. I took one with me for the surgery which started at 7:30 a.m. and I got out of the hospital at 12:30 p.m. I was pretty much of a basket case that day because no one was sure what was going to happen. The book called Hot Six kept my mind from going berserk. She is a funny feminist author and offers light-hearted and humorous mysteries. It’s good to read her when you need to relieve your mind.
Anyway I had read a couple really good books before the calamity struck. I read was In an Instant about Bob Woodruff. What an inspiring story that was. It was so moving about the tragedy he and his wife endured, and the way they strengthened each other and their marriage. It reminded me of Jack and me having gone through so much in our marriage. I know out of tragedy comes good, but it is very hard to see when it is happening. Sometimes it takes time to gain some perspective. The other one I read that was inspiring was Dancing on My Grave by Gelsey Kirkland and Greg Lawrence. It was inspiring in a different way about a young woman who began ballet when she was just fifteen. She was a mess, and got in to drugs, but had never really grown up because ballet took over her life. She was able to turn her life around and be a positive role model.
Another positive thing just happened. A very good friend who has been very seriously ill, and they were having a great deal of trouble getting it diagnosed is better. Her daughter who works here just came in to tell me her mom was better. I actually came in to work at 5:00 p.m. to use the computer, and am not actually working tonight. I talked to Val the other day, so had heard the good news, but am so thankful for her. I hope the same happens to Jason and I can report good news next month. Enjoy the little cooler weather!