One of my young, fun friends was lamenting the fact that she is soon to turn 40.

Her reasons for being hesitant to enter that new decade of life are genuine and

understandable. She said time goes by so quickly now, and she knows it goes even

faster as we age. Plus added years often increase the risk of developing health

problems and diminished mobility. We see our loved ones and favorite friends with

compromised abilities and it appears to have happened so suddenly. No wonder turning

40 causes one to look forward with trepidation.

I recently attended the funeral of a genuinely good man, Dan Deeb, who died a couple

months shy of his 86th birthday. He and his wife, Juanita, were good friends of my

parents, and he lived the longest of the four. Death at 85 is not totally unexpected, but

in my heart he was much younger, though my mind knew differently. His enthusiasm,

generosity, and jovial demeanor added to his youthful appearance. His death is

another reminder that now my husband and I, and our peers are the older generation.

I understand how my friend feels even though 40 is quite young to me. To Mr. Deeb I

likely seemed young. Age is a matter of perspective.

My firstborn, Michael, turns 40 in March, much to my amazement. I still remember

vividly the day he was born, the toys he played with as a toddler, how teary-eyed I

was at his first pre-school performance, his first day at kindergarten which he enjoyed

while I came home and cried. Throughout his grade school and high school days there

were moments of sheer delight when I marveled at how great a kid he was. No child is

perfect and though I loved him abundantly, I was not in denial about his character flaws

or shortcomings. Everyone said high school would fly by, and it did, although some

days lasted forever. I cried when he left for college and four years later as Pomp and

Circumstance was playing, more tears were flowing. That college diploma and his 22nd

birthday signaled he was definitely an adult, although in my mind, he was still a kid.

Now another 18 years are completed and he’s married with two children and a thriving

career, and I’m struggling to accept he’s 40. I’m not age sensitive, but like my fun, young

friend Liz, it’s the road ahead with its uncertainties, sadness, inevitable mishaps and

detours, and the fact that everything goes by at a seemingly reckless speed that causes

concerning thoughts for all.

So much to learn and share, so little time. Spending precious moments fussing and

worrying about the future is wasted energy. So I’ll learn from cherished older friends

like Dan Deeb, by doing “that which I love” because life is short. I’ll be a presence in

my loved one’s lives and mark time not by days on a calendar, but experiences and the

sweet memories of them. I’ll give thanks each day for those moments of grace, when

the details come together beautifully, and all is well, including those times of coping and

rising above the challenges. Whatever our age, we can choose to live with faith, trust,

and gratitude for today and hope for tomorrow.