During the Monday Night Football game between the Baltimore Ravens and the Indianapolis Colts on October 11, 2021, news broke that NFL head coach Jon Gruden had been fired from his $100 million job as the head coach of the Las Vegas Raiders. Ironically, Gruden’s firing culminated in an investigative story written by The New York Times, which focused on the toxic workplace of another NFL franchise, The Washington Football Team, which centered on that team’s pattern of sexist behavior.

The investigation discovered that Gruden, over several years, had sent a series of racist, misogynistic, sexist, and homophobic emails to his apparent friends and associates. These emails were directed to Gruden’s friends and established a pattern of questionable behavior and judgment.

While many questioned what Gruden said in his emails, others were more appalled about why he sent them via email and how he could feel so comfortable doing so. Why leave a digital footprint. It became clear that Gruden felt an empowering sense of entitlement that gave him the confidence to say what he did without fear of retribution. Such is the world that we live in, where many live their lives hidden behind a keyboard, choosing to express themselves in the vilest of ways. Instead of a white hood, these electronic platforms have become a new means of camouflage and deception that allows those who think dark thoughts at night to walk among us freely in the light without fear of discovery.

Jon Gruden will not be the last person to be outed as a bigot. The question is, who will be the guardians of these platforms. As was the case in this instance, will it be the press, or will it be whistleblowers or insiders who come forth? But what responsibility do we as individuals have? Let us not forget that others were receiving the emails from Gruden. At what point should they have informed him that his behavior was unacceptable.

There are instances every day where we may encounter a friend, colleague, or associate using off-color humor or derogatory and offensive language. In those instances, what do you do? What is our responsibility to each other? Do we laugh to fit in or try to ignore what was said? Do we only protest or advocate when we feel offended? These are the questions of our time; how to regulate the behaviors of others. In the past, this was done by laws. But many of these laws affected certain groups of people disproportionately.

How do we regulate hate in the 21st century? Do we implement codes of conduct like the Ten Commandments? Not everyone is a believer. Do we bring back public shaming? Some have no shame. Perhaps the answer lies within. We must all be our gatekeepers, making sure to regulate our thoughts and, most importantly, our actions. And when placed in uncomfortable situations where we or others are offended, we must have the courage to say something. Speaking out may not be the most popular thing to do, but that which is right often is not the most popular, only necessary.