Many years ago when my first-born was a toddler, I was talking to my friend’s mother, a relatively new grandmother, and someone I considered high-energy. Her daughter, my friend, had spent a few days visiting and while this grandma was very appreciative of the opportunity to spend time with her daughter and grandson, she was candid about how tired she was after the visit. I found her remarks disconcerting. How tough can it be, I wondered, oblivious to the fact that nearly 40 years separated us in age. Nor did I consider that after children leave home, houses are arranged for adult comfort and residents are fond of quiet that permeates a child-less house.

   My mother loved my three children immensely, but she sometimes asked for only one child at a time on an overnight visit. She hedged on admitting it, but I’m certain entertainment with all three grandchildren at once exhausted her. By then I was wiser and more cognizant of the continual challenges presented by three very close-in-age children. Sometimes they wore me out and I was their mother.

   Flash forward some three plus decades and now I’m the grandmother. Just as having children was part of my dream come true, so are having grandchildren an extension of that same fond wish. I eagerly anticipate their visits, and soon after they leave, I miss them. We talk, play games, laugh, share meals and commiserate about life’s unfairness, and enjoy funny moments. It’s the “nitty-gritty” and repetitiveness of childcare that is taxing. Not because my grandchildren’s behavior is poor, it isn’t, but because grandparents easily forget the difficulty of answering ten questions in pre-dawn hours before the second cup of coffee kicks in. Or remembering who sat where in the car or at the table and whose turn is next. Even more unsettling is accepting I can no longer engage in three conversations at once as I could years ago. Sometimes I want to yell “Quiet!” and collect my thoughts.

   With seven grandchildren eight years of age and younger, life moves quickly and continually. I’m thrilled there are still three little ones to rock, sometimes four depending on how grown up our 5-year-old wants to be that day. Each age presents joys and struggles, but love isn’t about convenience. It’s about commitment and being there, and cherishing the moments because we’ve learned with our children that time never quits moving.

  To mothers and fathers of young children, know you are appreciated and we are grateful for your devotion to your children. Love might conquer all things, but it doesn’t make sleepless nights easier, or the difficulties of helping children grow into productive, kind adults any simpler. We understand the challenges. Just about the time one situation is resolved, a different one presents itself. Reminders about how quickly children grow up are not helpful, particularly on difficult days.  Realistic goals and healthy perspectives are.

   “This too shall pass,” is often a parents’ mantra. Certain situations do pass, replaced by others. What endure are the memories, love, and certainty that every stage of life, from infancy to geriatric, contains lessons for us. A willingness to learn is essential, and so is thoughtful sharing of those insights with others. May the lessons and the sharing bring contentment and gratitude.