by Ed Klein, Peoria, IL

I’d like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to the Republican party for doing what few – if any – have been able to do before. What, you may well ask, is that? That, it may surprise you to learn, are the sacrifices the GOP is making to save the souls of millions of American citizens. Recall Jesus’ statement, “The poor we shall always have among us?” Republicans, apparently moved by those words are making every effort to assure that millions of Americans are cast into, or remain, in poverty. How are they doing this? Simply by taking funding away from those who can least afford it and giving it to those who have the least need for it. The result? Creating millions more poor for Jesus to love.

Not being satisfied with only one approach, and wanting to go the whole nine yards, they have perhaps discovered further inspiration for their efforts in the Beatitudes. Especially the one where the Lord says, “Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after justice, for they shall have their fill.” The fill, of course, need not alarm anyone concerned with compromising the status of the poor, because it will be dispensed in the hereafter.

Then perhaps, the more devout religious among the Republicans find further stimulus for their actions in the Psalms: “Whoever accepts poverty in the right spirit will receive God’s protection.” (PS 9:68; 112)

Therefore, by placing us in a position that assures God’s love and protection, and offering to take away the curse of temporal riches from our shoulders and placing it on their own, they make a further sacrifice by assuming the role of the rich man, who Jesus says, will find it easier to go through the eye of a needle than to enter heaven. And what is so fantastic about this is that the Republicans are doing all these wonderful things for us out of the goodness of their heart: leaving us to heaven to enjoy God’s blessings. Isn’t that a truly magnificent act of self-sacrifice for them to make – saving our souls by losing theirs and going to hell? How cool is that?!