Initially it was a typical phone call as we talked about family happenings. But the excitement in his voice told me he’d met a girl. More precisely a woman, but even when a son is 37, to his Mom, he’s still a kid or a boy. Not sure what the magic number for coming of age is, but I’ve known men receiving Social Security who are still “youngsters” to their Moms. It has nothing to do with not respecting the son’s abilities or knowledge, but more about maternal affection.
More phone calls, more enthusiasm. Her name is Susanne, Mom, and she’s beautiful and fun and talented.” As the two became better acquainted, the descriptive superlatives multiplied. Gradually the phone calls home decreased. Not dramatically, but his Dad and I would ask each other, “Have you heard from Michael?” And we’d realize it had been a few days since we talked to him. The signs were subtle and we were rooting for him.
Ours is a family of communicators. Silence is not golden for us. We thrive on staying connected and we’re not afraid to ask questions of each other. Questions show we care enough to want to know. Michael has lived in Nashville since 1994 when he began classes at Belmont University. Nashville is not a formidable distance from home. We’ve visited regularly and he’s generous about home visits. I never take those visits for granted, knowing many parents who see their grown children irregularly at best.
Loving parents want only the finest for their son or daughter. We know from personal experience that marriage is a wonderful way of life. Longevity runs in our family, both for birthdays and wedding anniversaries, and we’re proud of the high numbers. But we were never in a hurry for our children to marry.
Last summer we visited Michael in Nashville, and at a house party with his close friends, we met Susanne and her 5-year-old son, Julien, and her parents. More superlatives. Visits in July, October, and at Thanksgiving confirmed Michael and Susanne’s affection and respect for each other. Love was undeniably in the air!
“Tell me what you think,” Michael asked his sisters and us. And true to form, we told him exactly what we thought. Little value in others’ opinions if the answers aren’t honest. Marriage statistics are less than encouraging, but numbers and love aren’t necessarily compatible. We all know marriages that seemed doomed from the beginning but are thriving decades later. Others seem like a match made in heaven, but end quickly and often painfully.
Michael and Susanne bring much to their relationship: faith, trust, a host of family and friends who love them, education, a shared fondness for similar things, maturity, financial stability, common sense, independence, and most importantly a commitment to love each other. Neither believes the other one is perfect, and they know marriage is incredible, exciting, and hard work.
They became engaged December 13th. Their efforts are focused more on the marriage than the wedding. Regular phone calls home continue. They’ll be the same age when they marry, 38. Perhaps it’s time for me to call him a man. A very fortunate man who’s soon to marry a wonderful woman.
Welcome to the family, Susanne and Julien!