By Martha Herm, Executive Director of the Center for Prevention of Abuse

Peoria, IL

“The pictures from Steubenville don’t just show a girl being raped. They show rape being condoned, encouraged, and celebrated.” This quote from Laurie Penny, noted British journalist puts a spotlight on our culture through the lens of Steubenville. What happened in Steubenville happens in every community, including Central Illinois, however, only random cases get the national spotlight.

The Steubenville social media grapevine became viral and brought that case to national attention with local teens laughing at the pictures of the “dead girl” and how she was “so raped.” Sadly, a teen culture of weak ethics, rampant alcohol abuse, and minimal respect for females was suddenly on national display. Largely the media reports focused on the two popular teenage male football players who were on trial and how their lives might be impacted by this case, with little to no empathy or support for the female teen victim of a heinous, invasive crime.

Rape is a crime of power and control. It is a dehumanizing and traumatizing crime that has the potential for life-long effects. In the counseling program for sexual assault survivors at The Center for Prevention of Abuse, we find that the people we counsel who receive community and personal support instead of the opposite – victim blaming or social media slamming – have a higher rate of recovery and long term healing from the trauma of rape. We, as a community, need to defend victims and hold offenders accountable.

So, we need to do two things. The first is to change our community and individual response to rape. We should always support, not blame, the victim. Collectively we need to support our criminal justice system when they take a tough stance on perpetrators. By enforcing tough consequences, the message is sent to the community at large that rape is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.

Secondly, we need to debunk the myths of rape and teach greater respect for others.

1) “No” means “no.” Rape isn’t OK when there is silence, or someone is too intoxicated to give consent.

2) Rape most often happens at the hands of someone known to the victim. Of the 438 survivors that received services in the Sexual Assault program at the Center for Prevention of Abuse last year, 85% of them knew their perpetrator.

3) Rape does not happen because of uncontrolled sexual drive of males. It happens because of the feeling of entitlement to gain power and control of others. Unfortunately, there is great emphasis on teaching girls to keep their body safe, but minimal effort to teach boys not to rape.

4) No one deserves to be raped. No one chooses to be raped. If a female dresses a certain way or perhaps goes out with friends for a few drinks, she is not asking to be raped.

5) Help young women to honor their gender. When girls truly understand that anyone can be a victim and that they may be powerless to prevent their victimization, then perhaps girls will play their part by changing their language and stand up to defuse and change the culture.

Changing attitudes about rape will take everyone – males and females, parents and teachers, coaches and other community leaders – to socialize our children to value both genders, build respect and empathy for others. Our own children and grandchildren are at risk. Let’s help them all be safe and valued.