Second chances shouldn’t be taken for granted. If offered, they’re to be used for all they’re worth! Not every missed or bungled opportunity affords another go around. People die suddenly and all the “wish I would have told them” sentiments are forever lost. We can learn from mistakes, and as Oprah says, “When you know better, you do better.”
Sitting on the deck, watching my 17-month-old grandson, Jensen, reminds me grandparenting is a fabulous second-chance opportunity. The parenting mistakes, and times when I should have but didn’t, are offered once more minus the responsibilities. As I watch this red haired, blue eyed toddler fill and empty containers, spilling water all over the outfit I just put on him, and as he gets mud on his shoes and hands, it occurs to me I find much more humor in situations as a grandma than I did as a mom. But mothering duties don’t extend only from 8:30 a.m. to noon.
Babies were never an undecided consideration for me. I always wanted to be a mother. Pregnancy was reason for nine months of rejoicing even through fatigue and morning sickness. My ideas and expectations about babies were unrealistic, but I learned acceptance, and even on difficult days was extremely grateful to be a mom. Some days crept by very slowly, but one year followed another in such rapid succession that I look back and seriously wonder how so much time could be behind me. Hopefully I used it wisely as it is gone forever.
When my first grandchild arrived, I planned to remember every detail of her childhood. Granddaughter number two arrived five weeks later and details blurred somewhat. Seven grandchildren later, I rely on their parents, my son and two daughters and their spouses, to fill in the blanks. Unbelievably, the years are moving even faster now than they did with my children. I’m wiser today but struggle with the immediate name and detail recall I once took for granted. With wisdom comes the certainty that there’s always more to learn and understand.
Jensen provides wonderful lessons as we enjoy the summer sunshine and gentle morning breeze. Watching him gives me insights. For starters: if your clothes get wet, they’re wet. Throw caution to the wind and enjoy the present moment. He’s oblivious to the fact that his shirt and shorts are soaked. His attention is directed to fun at hand, playing in the water.
If at first you don’t succeed, try a different approach or just get irritated and keep pulling or shoving. He’s convinced a solution exists, and since he can’t quite verbally express his need, he gives it his all.
An audience of even one makes everything more enjoyable. He’s content to play alone, but he checks periodically to make certain I’m still outside. He’s learned early we are social creatures by nature and company adds to pleasures.
If you don’t want to follow directions, or respond to issues requiring your compliance, pretend your hearing ability has suddenly been compromised. I know many adults, particularly those with maturity experience, who are very proficient at this. Amazing a toddler tries the same tactics.
Remember the hug, pat, kiss and smile at playtime’s conclusion, and always be totally present and ready for the next learning time together.