BARNEY AND GOMER

The 80 year old man took another drink of his coffee and then loudly announced,

“I’ve been scammed!”

“Stolen identity?” someone asked.

“No.”

“Over charge on auto repair?”

“No.”

“What then?”

With anger in his eye, the old man said, “I got a ticket for speeding by the state police brown shirts.” Having spent time in Germany, I knew this not so kind reference. So I pressed for the details.

“I was returning from a doctor’s appointment and had just come on I-74 from War Memorial Drive and checked my speedometer because I never speed at my age. I haven’t had a speeding ticket in some 50 years. I was doing 58 mph. The next thing I knew a brown shirt was tailgating me with his bubble lights blazing. I immediately pulled over. The policeman approached and asked the same asinine question they usually do. ‘Do you know how fast you were going?’”

“What did you say?” He said, “I told him the truth. 58 miles an hour. In an excited voice sounding like Gomer Pyle, he said, ‘You were going 74.’ Not me. Maybe someone else, but not me. He left and came back, then left and came back two more times. He was like a jack rabbit with diarrhea. I had to tell him to slow down when he started giving instructions.” I said, “You’re exaggerating.” “No. I’m as serious as a root canal. I think he was thrilled and excited like a child with a new toy. It was either his first day on the job or he just was having his jollies.”

I asked, “How did it end?”

“Well, I pressed him on how I was the one who was supposed to be going 74 when I was among 30-40 cars in the same pack and a four door green older car was passing everyone but continued on his merry way.”

“What did Gomer, I mean, the officer say,” I asked.

“He responded by saying we use a laser light and can check 14 cars at the same time.

I checked with another law enforcement official and he said Gomer, I mean, the trooper lied.”

I could tell my friend was still angry days after getting the ticket, but he was having fun describing his unpleasant experience. He continued as a crowd in the restaurant was enjoying his monologue. “The state policeman seemed to be eager to resume grabbing other motorists which by then included at least five others during the afternoon rush hour near Gale, their favorite spot for shooting radar. But, I insisted on learning more about the system that apparently relies on the skill and judgment of one person, in this case Barney Fife.”

I laughed. He didn’t.

“There’s no recourse. There’s no tape, no replay. It’s his word against yours,” my friend said. “It will cost more in attorney and court fees to attempt to correct the injustice, and that’s what it is. I’m screwed. The system is slanted against you. An officer can make a mistake and you pay for it.” He bitterly ended the conversation by emphatically saying, “If I was guilty, I would pay the fine and move on. I have a different opinion of state police now.”

THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

We’ve all heard the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” There’s no good answer from those who believe and certainly not from non-believers. The recent devastating tornadoes that left one man dead and scores injured in central Illinois caused many to visit and revisit that question with the same intellectual and spiritual uncertainty. Far be it for me to make any attempt other than to offer continual prayers for the survivors and for the family of the deceased. Meanwhile, the rush by hundreds, perhaps thousands, to provide support in so many ways continues as we enter the Christmas season.

While we struggle with those living in Washington, Metamora, Pekin, East Peoria, Creve Coeur and other areas hit by the tornadoes and strong winds, there are others and their families facing different challenges.

Si Wagenbach, owner and president of Wagenbach Builders, learned this past month that he has Stage 4 cancer. Si is a true Christian who lives and gives in virtually every way to serve Him. It would be fair for him to ask, as have many in similar circumstances, “Why me Lord?” As a close friend, I can say, “It isn’t fair.”

But then, He has heard me say that on more than one occasion regarding my wife’s condition.

While the Wagenbach family scrambled to seek other medical opinions and options, a former customer of Si’s construction business stepped forward after learning his unfortunate medical prognosis. Rita Kress heard the family wanted to transfer Si to the

Mayo Clinic for evaluation. Rita offered to fly Si and his family to Rochester using the company jet. What a kind gesture! What thoughtfulness! The spirit of Christmas is alive in the hearts and minds of those who believe, as we thank Rita Kress and pray for Si Wagenbach.

REMEMBERING ROYCE

Following the death of our friend Royce Elliott, a suggestion was made to rename Morton Square Park as Royce Elliott Park. It was an appropriate idea since Royce grew up in that neighborhood and frequently played sports in and around the northside park. But then, he played football at the Peoria Stadium, baseball and softball at Glen Oak Park, and fast pitch at Proctor Center. Heck, Royce played at a lot of other places including the YMCA.

After lengthy discussions with a number of people, it was decided to do two projects in Royce’s honor. One is to make the 600 block Evans, the block bordering the north end of Morton Square Park, as Royce Elliott Place. It would be an honorary designation similar to what was done for Ray LaHood at the downtown federal building. The second project is to name the remaining Glen Oak Park baseball diamond as Royce Elliott Field. A large rock/boulder would be placed near the backstop with a plaque memorializing the well-known athlete and clean comedian who played baseball on the diamond for Woodruff High School and for several Sunday Morning League teams. We like these proposed projects honoring Royce and hope you do, too. Royce touched many lives with his positive attitude and clean humor even while playing sports.

The projects are slated for next Spring when the weather will be, or should be, more compatible and cooperative.

I LIKE SUE!

There’s a school board election next year, Tuesday, March 18, to be exact. The candidates for District 3 are S ue Wolstenholm, who’s lived in Peoria since she was 17,and Laura Petelle, a relative newcomer to the city, who’s running for re-election. Petelle cast the deciding vote to close Woodruff though she knew little about the school or the district for that matter. Wolstenholm, on the other hand, is well-versed on schools and the community. Married to Joe, a union steamfitter, Suzie is the mother of two sons who attend Washington Gifted School and Von Steuben. She’s been Treasurer of the PTO at Hines School and also at Washington and is currently Vice President of the Von Steuben PTO. Unlike Petelle before she was elected, Wolstenholm has attended and spoken at school board meetings, especially on behalf of issues affecting students and teachers at Von Steuben. “I asked questions that needed answers,” she told me. “The answers were never forthcoming,” she said. And that’s one of the driving issues of her campaign. “There’s a lack of accountability. Too much is done in executive sessions without involvement of shareholders like parents and teachers. That needs to change,” said Wolstenholm.

A 22 year employee of what is now Comcast Spotlight, the advertising arm of the cable company; she’s Supervisor of Account Services. She knows budgets and finances. “The district budget is on the school’s web site, but it’s without details.

There’s a need for openness, something I’ll push for if elected,” Wolstenholm said. Husband, Joe, is manager of her campaign, “Friends of Suzie Wolstenholm.” For more information or to make campaign donations, call 690-3261.

CHRISTMAS PAST

While I love all of the contemporary decorations and electronics, I’m still one who enjoys an old-fashioned Christmas. Yes, I do have an artificial tree primarily because of safety reasons. I even have a pre-lit artificial tree with a gadget that enables me to change colors from all sparkling white to red and green to multi-color. Whee! But, I like to harken back to the days when the Santa parade ended on Fulton with the man in red
white climbing a fire truck ladder to the 5th floor Toy Land at Block & Kuhl. While it was exciting, it was always a precarious trip causing me to hold my breath for Santa.

One year he lost his balance and almost fell to the gasp of thousands of onlookers, especially children like me. In later years I was told, “Santa may have had one too many egg nogs on that occasion.”

Another thrill was standing in front of the windows at Bergner’s and Block & Kuhl, watching the motorized figures moving around and around from bears to electric trains. The designers of the displays were experts who were able to capture and enhance the Christmas spirit. And the spirit was alive in downtown Peoria with shoppers galore moving like ants at a picnic at intersections. I can even remember policemen blowing whistles signaling when it was okay to start crossing.

A highlight was having lunch at either Bergner’s or Block & Kuhl with mom and later with our sons. There’s no better way to get into the holiday spirit than shopping and then eating with your children while the sound of Christmas music is in the air To tell you the truth, I don’t know what is more exciting in December … the music, looking at decorated windows or being with your family. Perhaps it’s all of the above. Then, of course, there are church services throughout the month. I love the lighting of candles while singing “Silent Night, Holy Night” on Christmas Eve and wishing everyone around you “Merry Christmas” while leaving church for the warmth and love at home. Instead of the proverbial sugar plums dancing in our heads this Christmas season, our thoughts will be about those many families displaced by the November tornadoes. Their homes are gone. Their decorations, the ones they cherished and lovingly placed around the house, are no more. They need our prayers.

“And there were in the same

country shepherds abiding in

the field, keeping watch over

their flock by night.

And lo, the angel of the Lord

came upon them, and the glory
of the lord shone around about them;

and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them,

Fear not, for behold, I bring you

good tidings of great joy, which

shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day

in the city of David, a Saviour,

which is Christ the Lord.”

—St. Luke, Chapter 2

MAY YOU HAVE A

HAPPY AND BLESSED CHRISTMAS!