On a typical frosty-cold January day, a friendly and enthusiastic group of loved ones gathered in anticipation of a wonderful event. Determined to stay for the long haul, while hoping for a short one, we were willing helpers extraordinaire. But some of us were reminded, prior to our early arrival that Wednesday morning, about babies entering the world for forever without the help of grandparents, friends or other relatives. We were incredibly excited, realizing the impact this baby would have on our lives. This was the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents and the first niece or nephew for Uncle Mike who arrived in record-breaking time from Nashville, Tennessee.
When the proud father came to announce, “We have a girl!” we were ecstatic. Cell phones were immediately snapped into service to share the miraculous news. Becoming a grandma is hard work, and I was exhausted, but the euphoria of seeing my child holding her child energized me immediately. Five weeks to the day later, my husband and I were blessed to welcome our second granddaughter into our lives and once again the joy was beyond description. Nearly 10 years after, seven grandchildren call us Grammie and Papa or a close variation, and nothing about being a grandparent loses its luster. Exhausting? Maybe, sometimes, but the thrill continues with only naps necessary for rejuvenation.
In 1970, Mrs. Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade of West Virginia started her campaign for a day to honor grandparents. After nine years of considerable persistence and persuasion, then President Jimmy Carter proclaimed the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day. September was the month chosen “to signify the ‘autumn’ years of life.”
It was not a holiday invented to sell cards and flowers, but one to honor grandparents and give them an opportunity to show love for their children’s children. And to help grandchildren “become aware of the strength, information, and guidance older people can offer.”
Before we were grandparents, friends told us about the pleasure and pure love grandchildren bring. We believed them, although sometimes it seemed they might be exaggerating. Now we understand their enthusiasm. My husband and I are loving, devoted grandparents, but not the “anything goes” kind. We believe parents and grandparents do a disservice to their kids and grandkids if they allow them to think they are the center of the universe. Someday reality will hit them, and it will be a softer blow if the significant adults in their lives help prepare them for the inevitable.
We have rules that aren’t necessarily their favorites, but it’s a learning experience as they realize expectations differ even among people who love them. Collectively, I’ve learned much from my grandchildren, particularly about their individualism, unique personality traits and optimism of the young. I don’t plan to be their friend and don’t need to be their favorite. I want them to know my love is for always and sharing time with them is a priority for me. I’ll be their most enthusiastic cheerleader as they discover their path in an ever-changing world. As parents it’s easy to be overwhelmed by obligations children create. As grandparents we can revel in the joys.
Gifts aren’t necessary on Grandparents Day. Grandchildren are the gifts and we are the forever-grateful recipients.