SANDRA DEMPSEY POST
Every March I celebrate that winter is nearly over. My optimism is boundless. Sure, I realize it can still snow or ice can play havoc with plans. But even with unpleasant possibilities, Spring is right around a corner or two and I’m delighted. Not sure when my dislike for winter developed. I loved sledding as a kid, knew how to dress warmly, and my friends responded similarly. We walked to and from school, and it wasn’t all uphill, but sometimes it wasn’t fun. I’m not looking for sympathy because years later I was the Mom insisting my children walk to school and back home, but if there was a blizzard, I’d go get them. They’ll laugh when they read this because even today, they’re uncertain I’d provide transportation even in a blizzard. Fortunately, I never had to prove myself.
Looking back on details and memories is much different from living them in the moment. Sometimes I mentally congratulate myself remembering good times, my sense of humor, willingness to be helpful or agree to carpool an entire Friday night with kids. But then a less angelic side of me emerges and I remember letting my young teenage son go with friends to a baseball game with no money for snacks or beverages. It was his responsibility to keep disposable income handy in the event a great opportunity presented itself, but he hadn’t done that. I’m not proud about my lack of compassion, but I admire the adult husband and father he became and I’m thinking about dropping the guilt. My sternness either taught him character or he always regrets having not asked his Grandma for a loan.
Being a parent would be much easier if time off was offered, instead of continual streams of situations for 18-plus years. How I’d love to be holding any and all of my three children right now. Even middle of the night duty would be okay, but day in and day out is difficult. That’s why being a grandparent is charming and fun. The responsibility is short-term, no character building or difficult lessons to teach, and it’s easy to provide enjoyable entertainment only for 24 hours.
I feel obligated to enlighten my son and two daughters on my probably over-considered priorities from back then and why I felt they were necessary. Some days I commiserate with my grandchildren, other times my heart goes out to their parents. It’s easy, even decades later, to remember how taxing those decisions were to make, and how it sometimes felt like one wrong move could result in bitter outcomes. Time and distance really can make the heart grow softer.
As the weather warms up, daylight continues increasing with less time spent sitting and remembering, and my winter melancholy melts like the snow. Longer days are energizing and being outside is pleasant, not challenging. I still cringe about mistakes made along the way. When I hear discouragement in any of my kids’ voices, I do my best to recount challenging situations we went through as they were growing up and praise them for how well they turned out.
Sunny skies and warmer temperatures can make difficulties seem less complicated, whatever the situations. May sweet memories fill your thoughts as you welcome Spring!