SANDRA DEMPSEY POST

My Mother was an interesting blend of strictness, kindness, compassion, tolerance, and don’t be fooled by her smiling face. She was strict, but not mean spirited. Her goals were not always mine, which caused some friction when I was a kid and later as an adult. We didn’t always agree, but we could talk things out. Some of what I vowed to do differently when I had children, I did almost exactly as she did. She was a good role model, and it was easier to recognize that when some rules and consequences didn’t apply to me.

I never doubted her love for me, but sometimes I thought she had a strange way of showing it, and sometimes I wished she didn’t love me so much. She would often tell me she was preparing me to be independent in the event something happened to her or my Dad. They both looked healthy to me, and I wasn’t always interested in all she thought I should know. We compromised. Fortunately, my parents lived long enough to see my children growing up. The lessons they taught me I’ve shared with my own children and grandchildren.

People often comment about how different it is today than “when we were kids” and for sure it is, but we often fail to realize that’s how our parents often felt. Granted there may be more differences now than there were when we were kids, but each generation has their own struggles. I always planned to stay current with new inventions, fads, etc., and I have to laugh at myself now as I’m so far behind in knowing or using what’s out there. I have seven grandchildren ranging in age from 9 to 16 and I am appalled, I think they are also, at what I don’t know, especially in the area of electronics and technology. My lack of knowledge doesn’t make my life any less enjoyable for me, but it is sometimes embarrassing knowing so little, if anything, about what other people consider essentials.

I still write checks, visit the bank to make deposits, write notes and cards, call someone instead of texting, subscribe to the paper edition of the newspaper, shop in stores, and the list continues. My daughter recently asked me if I was familiar with the words “executive function.” I wasn’t, and after her brief definition, and my looking it up online, (that is one thing I can do, search online) I see why I’m not familiar with the expression. It isn’t in my brief list of lifestyle options. “Executive functions are a set of cognitive processes necessary for cognitive control of behavior. It includes basic cognitive processes such as attentional control, working memory, and cognitive flexibility.” The words “reasoning, problem solving, and fluid intelligence” are also included. It’s pretty much all out of my understanding and capabilities at this time.

If my Mother were still here, she’d tell me I could do anything I wanted to do if I tried hard enough. That’s one issue I thought she was wrong about when I was young, and still think so. But she was right on many others. I would love to tell her that today, but I believe she already knows.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

I miss you.