As a child who yearned to have a younger sibling, I can remember my Mother’s response to my request. She lovingly explained I had a sister, and when that didn’t satisfy me, she told me she was too old to have a baby.

I didn’t know if she was or wasn’t. But she hadn’t lied to me previously, so I assumed she was being honest. She told me someday I could have my own baby, and while that sounded fine, even I recognized that was years away from happening.

Disappointed for sure, I began planning about the kind of Mom I would be and how I would act. Yes, I would be Super Mom with no conflicts allowed. My sister and I couldn’t even agree on whose turn it was to do dishes each evening so I don’t know why I thought avoiding arguments with my own child or children was possible. But I was confident I could be a model mother.

Uncertain what year my very detailed plans were considered, I began thinking seriously about the importance of being prepared. My Mother had explained to me honestly and kindly about caring for children. With her advice and my determination, I planned to be generous, “Yes you may” kind of Mom, (it was obvious I didn’t know myself very well), and most important, I would never be angry or disappointed in my children. I knew that was quite the agenda I had laid out, but Super Mom planned to get it done while basking in the satisfaction of knowing I was well ahead of my game.

Another child was never born to my Mother and Father so I assumed my Mother really was too old. I don’t believe we ever discussed it again. In the meantime, my sister — nearly nine years older than me — married and later I became an Aunt. I was ecstatic although a new baby isn’t exactly a lot of fun as they don’t do many fun things. It seemed it would be a good while before she did much of anything but cry, eat, and need a diaper change. I was confident someday my children would be more enjoyable.

To a young person, particularly one who had her life so “neatly” planned, time went by quickly, slowly, awkwardly, delightfully, and with much uncertainty. But I can honestly say my dreams came true, though some needed adjusting along the way. I married a wonderful man, loved being a Mom, but there were challenges involved in both that I knew little about. Sometimes I was disappointed in myself, but I chalked it up to not being prepared in spite of the years spent planning on being that Super Mom. I didn’t know how tired one could get with healthy, busy children.

I became a Grandma in January of 2006, and now we have seven grandchildren. On those difficult days of my children growing up, I would hope someday their children would be as challenging as they were. My wish came true except a Grandmother’s perspective is much different from a Mom’s. I look back with gratitude and joy for our blessings, and I’m grateful to have realized that being Super Mom with no conflicts allowed might not have been much fun.