Another month has passed, and I can hardly believe it. It has been a bad one again, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Jason is back in the hospital for the third time in that many weeks. He had a three week siege of vomiting and was unable to hold anything down including water. He lost over 20 lbs, and fainted twice when he got out of bed. It was a scary time. He went into the hospital for three days, was out for two went back and was released from the emergency room, but could not eat or drink, and collapsed twice when he got out of bed, so I said it’s time to go back. We’ve talked to three doctors since he was admitted Wednesday night, and from this session and tests from before they have determined he has Gastroperisis which means his stomach doesn’t entirely empty and it causes vomiting. He got at least four or five medicines when he went in and yesterday morning he was so much better and was able to eat something and keep it down for the first time in weeks.

Jason and I are finding out more than we ever wanted to know about insulin dependent diabetes. Almost everything and anything that crops up the doctors tell us that we are more likely to get any of these diseases and more because we are insulin dependent. It is a scary, painful disease and I wish I hadn’t inherited it and passed it on to Jason. Our inherited characteristics can be very damaging and life threatening far more than the color of our eyes or hair. I remember the old arguments of nature or nurture, but we never realized the very dangerous things we inherited. Or at least I didn’t realize that some of these inherited qualities could harm us in such a negative way. It is such a blessing to have good health and not be crippled, or have some condition that does not allow a full life enjoyed by most.

Jason just called and said I could pick him up on my way home from work, so that is good if all the health practices are kept up. I know how hard it is to stick yourself with a needle four or five times a day and then stick yourself again with the insulin needle. I do not like it, it takes time and money and it is not a normal way to live. I try very hard to support Jason because I have to go through the same thing and it’s not fun!

Enough about problems. I am so looking forward to warm weather and getting outside. I know I cannot be out there all day like I used to be. My house is pretty much of a disaster, because I’ve spent lots of time at Jason’s house, and have neglected my own, but it’s only just a house, and people are so much more important. I would be willing to let it go even more if I have to, but I know the dusting and sweeping will always be waiting for me.

I have read at night and have learned to take a book into the emergency room, because it always takes so long for them to draw blood (And that is even harder for Jason because he has been in the hospital so much and is always so dehydrated that it takes three of four nurses to be able to draw blood, and he is even developing scar tissue from having blood drawn and having an IV in his arm so much) and develop some sort of diagnosis and decide whether to admit him or not. I have such compassion for him that I almost wish I could take his place. I do know that you care and hurt for your children no matter what age they are.

I read The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion which was both good and bad. Her husband died while her daughter was still in a coma in the hospital, so the problems I’ve faced are not so different. But she is a wonderful writer who gives me gives me insights that help. Even though we all go through much of the same, many react differently and it is great to read someone else’s thoughts. Other that this book I’ve read a couple Clive Cussler books that I picked up at Jason’s house. Cussler is Jason’s favorite author. And I also read a couple books by Lee Child who I find is a good story teller who holds your attention. Sometimes they are a little gory, but the good thing about reading a book as opposed to watching a movie, you can visualize the words and actions, and it is not nearly so bad as watching the depiction of gore on the screen. I hope you all stay well and get a change to work in your garden and read a good book!