I’m grateful to have lived long enough to …

Sentimentalists sometimes give loved ones a card detailing reasons the recipient is loved. The number of reasons matches that person’s age. Or the birthday celebrant is given the same number of gifts as the number of candles on the cake. My birthday cake now has abundant candles so I’m making a list with a different spin, and no regard for numbers. After various nostalgic flashbacks with friends from different eras of my life, where conversations included “how did we get to this age so soon?” I decided to enumerate reasons why I’m delighted and appreciative to still be celebrating birthdays.

I’m grateful to have lived long enough…

…To see my children grow up, to enjoy their company and that of their spouses, and to spend time with my grandchildren. It’s a privilege to never take for granted.

…To have gained insights into realizing change is inevitable and can be a real positive. Reminiscing with forever friends is pleasurable, but staying stuck in the past leads to disappointment. Cherished traditions can be honored and I can still be willing to try new adventures.

…To accept, even though still a struggle, that life is not fair and be grateful I was not always treated “fairly.” Had I been, my life would have included more sadness and mishaps. Who hasn’t lucked out on when taking a chance, not thinking clearly, acting foolishly, or simply having made an honest error in judgment? “Fairness” might dictate severe consequences for such thoughtless actions. Fortunately most of us escape many of the outcomes such behavior could warrant. Appreciation is always appropriate.

…To fall in love with my husband all over again but sometimes for different reasons. Experience and maturity make it clear neither of us is always right, and we’re not giddy in love every minute of every day, but we’re committed to each other even during times of anger or disappointment. Such love calls for generosity, faithfulness, gratitude and a very developed sense of humor. A good marriage requires willingness from both people to work towards shared goals and to bring out the best in each other.

…To know I don’t need answers for everything. Some details no longer matter to me, and some I’ll never figure out no matter how wise I am or how long I live. I can accept that. I don’t think we should ever stop seeking, but it doesn’t have to be an all-consuming, cynical pursuit because some details are not ours to know. That’s why it’s called faith. If we knew the answers to all the questions, faith would not exist.

…To accept that added years may mean modifications in how I live, but it doesn’t mean eliminating spontaneity and adventure.

…To scale back on regrets and strive instead for satisfying situations now. It’s never too late to begin again.

…To withhold judgment until I know the entire story.

…To seek to make each day better for others with no concern about paybacks. My gratitude list may be different from other people’s, but comparisons only create negative emotions, and circumstances are not always as they seem.

…To accept that life will never be perfect, but it can be very good. It’s my responsibility to help create some of that goodness.

…To live with awe, joy, and gratitude.



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