Paul Harvey was the original host of a Monday through Friday program called “The Rest of the Story.” It began as part of his newscasts during World War II and later premiered as its own series in 1976 on ABC Radio Networks. Consisting of varied stories presented as little known or forgotten facts, the key element, often the name of a well-known person, was not revealed until the very end. Broadcasts always concluded with a variation of, “And now you know the rest of the story.” Paul Harvey died in 2009, and another host was chosen, but the show was cancelled after only three weeks with the new host.
We rarely give it much consideration, but much of life involves, “the rest of the story.” An older familiar saying reminds us “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Judging people on first impressions or how things seem to be isn’t wise either. Since we don’t always know what is going on in someone’s life, it’s essential to be kind and suspend judgment. Extenuating circumstances may explain even negative behavior more clearly.
On a recent flight a family with three young children tested everyone’s patience. Two children were very loud, often crying, and continually fussing. The accompanying adults tried distracting them with various activities, but mostly the children were inconsolable. Before I knew about various developmental disabilities, I might have immediately concluded the children were undisciplined. Without any facts about the situation, I would have blamed their behavior on incompetent parenting. I’ll never know details about those children, but if I had a child with emotional or developmental challenges, I would want understanding, not annoyed stares or snide remarks.
Countless situations challenge our tendency to reach conclusions based on assumptions. For a while, I volunteered at an area food pantry. The experience was good and continually tested my resolve not to make assessments about folks receiving food. I knew no one’s personal situation and was there to help others, not judge them. I read a quote once saying it’s only the poor whom we ask to prove their worthiness to receive something free. No one ever asks a person of means to prove why they should have so many advantages in life.
I have done nothing to deserve the wonderful parents I had or the educational opportunities or the comfortable homes I lived in. I never needed to worry if there was food enough each day for both lunch and dinner or if my parents had money to pay utility bills so we’d have heat and lights.
Yes, some people are in dire situations because of poor choices, but who among us hasn’t made choices that were less than stellar. We don’t have to approve of others’ decisions, but it is not our job to judge them. That doesn’t mean excusing all poor behavior. We can deplore people’s actions while still treating them respectfully.
If we knew “the rest of the story,” we would often reach different conclusions: be more willing to help; suspend our judgment; encourage others; show kindness rather than disdain; give people a second chance; and live with a gratitude that motivates us to share with others. The challenge is to do those things even without knowing the rest of the story’s details.